Yitro - Finding the Leaders in our lives

Dave Burnett painting a bomb shelter in northern Israel, Dec 2006.

Great leadership follows three key principles:

1. Know Yourself.
2. Know the value of servant leadership.
3. Know your values and do not deviate from them.
   

One leader that certainly heeded these rules was Martin Luther King, Jr. One of the greatest leaders and orators of all time, King became the spiritual leader of the United States during the civil rights movement of the 1960s. When he spoke, King tied current events with biblical imagery, often using it in new ways -- and Jewish ways, as well.

But did people follow King only for his speeches? No, sir. King led with his heart, and people respected him for that. They saw that he understood his own powers and limitations. He led by example, being arrested several times for refusing to back down in peaceful protest. And no matter what, King never deviated, even until the end. In his final speech, delivered the night before he was assassinated, King recommitted himself and his mission to action through non-violence.

In his final speech King states:

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop.

And I don't mind.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!

In this speech, King draws a direct parallel between himself and Moses, the leader of the Hebrews, the one who went to the Mountaintop and looked out into the Promised Land. What did Moses see? How did it relate to what King saw?

Moses was one of King's heroes.

And the two had a lot in common, especially in terms of the tenets laid out above:

1. Moses knew himself.
Unlike King, Moses was not a great orator. Therefore, Moses kept his bro Aaron with him at all times. Aaron was the great communicator; Moses was the visionary. Without each, it would be a stretch to believe that the Hebrews would have made it to the promised land.

2. Moses knew the value of servant leadership.
The people did not just follow Moses blindly. They saw the work he put in. They saw that Moses was willing to submit himself to the Lord and no other. No body worked harder. This is the Michael Jordan rule:

I never took a day off. If I took a day off, then Scottie was going to take a day off. And then Horace. The next thing you know, the whole scope of what we’re trying to do is being weakened. I never took a shortcut, and I never wanted anyone else to take a shortcut. If that meant someone interpreted me as a tyrant, I’m pretty sure they’re appreciative now.

Michael Jordan worked the hardest. He set the example, and his teammates followed him. Moses was the Michael Jordan of the ancient Hebrews and he got them to the Promised Land.

3. Moses stayed true to his values.
He stayed true to God, even when he felt he was being pushed, put in uncomfortable positions and even when he was told he would never be able to enter the Promised Land.

Moses did not do it all by himself. He had Aaron, his "Scottie." He also had plenty of other helpers, other role players. One of these was his father-in-law Yitro. In the Parsha bearing his name, Yitro shows up to greet the triumphant Moses.

SCENE

YITRO
Hey Moses, so yeah ... I always thought you were a great guy a real wonderful new addition to our family. I have brought my daughter, your wife, to be with you.

MOSES
(aside)
Uhhhh ... yeah, sure. Now you want me as your son-in-law. All I had to do was part the Red Sea and lead thousands to freedom. Your daughter is great, but seriously -- you need me to move water for your approval?

(to YITRO)
Thanks, pop.

END SCENE

Yitro decides to spend a day with the Hebrews and observes Moses in action. Moses, the one that split the Red Sea. And after one day of observation, he immediately has advice for his son-in-law.

At the time, Moses was spending a large part of his day amongst the people, hearing their problems, teaching the Law, and passing judgment. Yitro felt like Moses was taking too much time to do this, and advised Moses to divide the people up by finding upstanding men to act as judges. Yitro felt Moses would be burned out if he kept up at the same pace every day.

Now, Moses was not only a visionary, but also a great listener and a follower. Should he have taken Yitro's advice? It is true that Moses was busy, but what about what Moses's teacher and guide (Comissioner G-O-D) wanted? Was God sending a message to Moses through Yitro? Was this a test?

A day or so later, Moses is charged with gathering the Hebrews together and getting them ready for the coming of the Lord, the moment when God reveals himself to the Hebrews at Mt. Sinai. Then Moses goes up to the Mountaintop to receive the Ten Commandments.

This is a heavy burden for anyone to handle, even Moses.

King handled a heavy load as well. But the two had vision. They had purpose. They had a love of life. They also both died before seeing their visions fulfilled.

Life doesn't always turn out the way that we want. Children die everyday. Great leaders are shot down at the podium. Millions of Jews perished needlessly in the Holocaust.

I just spent time in Lublin, Poland where I learned about Rabbi Meir Shapiro. Rabbi Shapiro was another great leader, one who pushed his physical and mental limits to benefit the Jewish people. He taught, he served in government, he revolutionized the way Jews across the world related to each other through study. And he died at a very young age (in his 40s).

Why was his life taken so early? Rabbi Shapiro died in the shadow of the Holocaust. Did he die so that he would not have to suffer? Wouldn't his leadership be needed to inspire his people to get through hard times? These questions remained unanswered. But the riddle remains.

Death is a riddle.

Recently, a peer of mine, Dave Burnett, passed away while hiking in Jordan.

Dave was an amazing friend and passionate leader. Rarely have I seen one so full of life. Where Moses led with vision and King led with communication, Dave led with spirit.

Dave was always surrounded with people. We were drawn to him. To be in Dave's presence was infectious. While together, you knew you would have fun and for a while be as full of life as he was.

Just like all great leaders, Dave knew himself, knew how to be a servant leader and knew his values. He did not deviate from these principals.

Sometimes a candle that burns brightest also burns the quickest. It is a shame that his wick did not last longer, but the light that he provided will shine on for a long time.

Dave was on his journey to the Mountaintop. He wanted to combine his love of his country, Australia, with his love of Israel and the Jewish people worldwide. Dave had a vision. And as we just celebrated the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. on his day, and as we read about Moses in Parsha Yitro and elsewhere in the Torah, so too must we celebrate the lives of other leaders in our lives.

Moses and King are prevalent images in our minds, but they are not attainable. Our friends and the leaders in our everyday lives are the ones that we can touch. The ones that make leadership real for us.

By knowing Dave, working with him, talking to him and having him in my life, I can truly say that I am better able to connect to the meaning of leadership, to my heroes and to Judaism.

Thank you Dave. You will be missed.

---

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Soul Shower: Cleansing Yourself after Touching Death (Hukkat)

“Whoever touches the corpse of a human soul which dies, and he does not cleanse himself … that soul shall be cut off from Israel.” (Num. 19:13)

Death is not unnatural, or negative, or removed. For some of us, it’s closer than others. It is a constant shadow to a sunny day. Death is in fact, an integral part - a stark reminder - of life, and can be the impetus for moving the important aspects of life to the forefront of your existence. Is it contradictory to command a “ritually clean person,” one without blemishes, innocent to the wrenching sorrow of loss, to deal directly with death and then have them be considered unclean, set apart, quarantined, for seven days? Nope. How could you have understood the black stain of heartache without first experiencing it?

Maybe the lesson that G-d is trying to impart in this week’s Parsha, Chukkat, is that after facing death we have to cleanse ourselves and relinquish our reluctance to move on. We have to live. We have to accept death as a facet of life and pledge to ourselves to live life harder. With more passion.

It is so important to cleanse yourself after touching the darkest depths. Not just the death of someone or something that you love, but the contemplation that there is nothing left for you to live for. My roommate told me that true meditation is to breathe in the good and the bad around you — all of the stressful, painful things that your coworker said to you, your Facebook crush didn’t say, or your mind is screaming at you. This way when you breathe out, you’re putting positive energy back into the world. So if air can cleanse your mind, maybe water can cleanse your soul.

In Chukkat, God commands anyone that has touched a dead human soul to become clean by sprinkling water on themselves. You can take a painful experience, like death, and cleanse yourself to live a more positive life. Think about all those times you stood out in the summer rain just to get soaked. Maybe your soul just needed washing. Maybe you weren’t breathing, and instead holding your breath. Waiting for the bad part to be over instead of reveling in the intense experience of grief and the astonishing outpouring of comfort from those around you. Maybe you were holding your breath to get through the stench of pain because yes, sometimes life stinks. Sometimes all you have to eat is “rotten bread,” but then maybe you start getting bitten by venomous snakes and you realize, hey that bread wasn’t such a big deal.

The people spoke against God and against Moses:

"Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in this desert, for there is no bread and no water, and we are disgusted with this rotten bread." The Lord sent against the people the venomous snakes, and they bit the people, and many people of Israel died. The people came to Moses and said, "We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord and against you. Pray to the Lord that He remove the snakes from us." So Moses prayed on behalf of the people. (Num. 21:5-7)

A friend of mine recently broke up with his long-time girlfriend, and in an intense moment of despair told me that it actually made him realize how many other people had gone through so many terrible things in their lives and he had never been able to understand before just how terrible they were. And that he was sorry. Because unfortunately, loss can be so many things. It is not just the death of your mother. It can be the death of a relationship, of an ideal, of hope. And you realize at that point, so alone in a crowded room, that things weren’t so bad before. That no one really cares if you made a B+ in physics. But like my sister told me after our mother died - the perspective that we earned isn’t anything she would wish on anyone else. And I wouldn’t. But I do think it’s important to find the positive in an unimaginable negative.

“Blessings that your own heartbreaks open your heart to still greater compassion.”

--Rabbi Arthur Waskow

My dance teacher told us once that we all hold our breath much more than we realize. Stop and think about it. Are you waiting to get to the other side? To figure out what you want to do with your life? How about the scenery along the way? And the company? Maybe you’ll get frustrated and hit a rock, and maybe in the midst of your anger, a miracle might just happen. Because friends are exactly that. I bet your phone will ring just when you’re getting down. And someone will say - though maybe not in so many words - “Hey, I love you. Let’s live life”.

Without accepting that love, those helping hands from the community, without cleansing oneself from the wallowing in despair, that soul “shall be cut off.”

The Israelites “circle the land of Edom, and … became disheartened because of the way.” (Num. 21:4) The circle is so significant. It is the process. They are so obsessed with achieving an unknown end that they cannot accept the journey for what it is. Some of them won’t make it any farther than the journey. Life is hardship and struggle punctuated by surprising happiness and joy. How often are we, as young professionals, caught up in the angst of a generation that demands instant satisfaction? Then suddenly, something earth shattering happens, your cell phone rings and your life changes in an instant. A deep breath in and a flash of fast-forwarded images. Death, or whatever the loss may be, puts life into perspective.

“And I find myself in a fleeting moment traveling through far and wide to the great big open, things are coming into focus, things are coming into focus.”

--Heartless Bastards